When Do Babies Begin to Cry Real
Tears?
Table of Contents:
Introduction
Signs Babies are About to Cry Real Tears
Changes in Cry Sounds
Increased Tear Production
Emotional Crying
Age Range for Crying Real Tears
2-3 Months
4-6 Months
After 6 Months
Why Babies Cry Real Tears
Communication
Frustration
Discomfort
The Science Behind Crying Real Tears
Tear Duct Development
Brain Development
Hormone Changes
Tips for Responding to Crying with Real Tears
Comforting Touch
Distraction
Meeting Needs
When to Seek Help for Excessive Crying
Lasting Several Hours
Happens Frequently
Hard to Console
Frequently Asked Questions
When Do Babies Begin
to Cry Real Tears?
Introduction
One of the many developmental
milestones during a baby's first year is beginning to produce real tears when
crying. While newborns are able to cry right from birth, their tears are
different than older babies and adults because their tear ducts are not fully
developed.💧 Typically, somewhere between 2-6 months of
age, babies will start crying actual tears instead of just tearless fussing or
crying. This is an important indicator that their eyes and brain connections
are maturing.👶
Knowing the signs that your baby
is approaching this milestone and what to expect can help you be prepared to
respond to their emotional needs during this transition. While crying is a
normal part of every infant's development, there are also tips for comforting
them and gauging when excessive crying requires medical attention. Let's
explore when babies begin to shed real tears and the science behind this
development!
Signs Babies Are About To Cry
Real Tears
Babies give several cues that
they are approaching the age when they will begin crying real tears instead of
just screaming and fussing.
Here are some changes to look
for:
Changes
in Cry Sounds
- The cry may sound more like
screaming or take on a more rhythmic, song-like quality.
- You may notice choking sounds
as they start to produce tears.
- Cries become louder or higher
pitched.
Increased
Tear Production
- Tears may start welling up in
their eyes without fully overflowing.
- You see tears occasionally with
some crying episodes.
- Your baby seems to be blinking
their eyes frequently, like they are watery.
Emotional
Crying
- Your baby may cry in response
to stimuli that produce emotions like joy, anger, sadness, or fear.
- Crying when tired,
overstimulated, frustrated, hungry, bored, lonely.
- Crying when needing comfort
like cuddling, rocking, or sucking on a pacifier.
These signs indicate your baby's
brain and eyes are developing mature connections that allow emotional crying
with real tears.🧠 Typically this
transition happens gradually over weeks or months rather than overnight.
Age Range for Crying Real Tears
The exact age when a baby starts
crying actual tears varies quite a bit.
Here's the range you can
expect to see this milestone:
2-3
Months
Some babies may have occasional
crying spells with tears starting around 2-3 months. This is on the early end
of the range but normal for faster developers.
4-6
Months
The average age when babies begin
regularly crying with tears is 4-6 months. Many babies seem to go through a
"crying peak" during this period.
After 6
Months
It's still possible for babies
older than 6 months to cry without tears if their tear ducts remain
underdeveloped. Premature babies in particular may reach this milestone later.
Keep in mind every baby develops
differently! If your baby is older than 6 months and hasn't cried real tears
yet, talk to your pediatrician. But in most cases, there's no need to be
concerned if it takes a while.👍
Why Babies Cry Real Tears
Once babies build the physical
capability to produce tears, you'll notice them using crying to communicate
needs and express emotions.
Here are some common reasons
babies cry real tears:
Communication
Tears communicate needs like
hunger, discomfort, overstimulation, or wanting comfort or attention. Crying
elicits care from parents and caregivers.
Frustration
Big emotions like frustration,
anger, and sadness may overwhelm young babies. Tears serve as an outlet.
Discomfort
Physical discomfort from causes
like gas, teething pain, or illness can trigger emotional release through
crying.
Responding to your baby's tearful
cries with comfort and care helps build attachment and trust. Understanding why
they cry guides how to best meet their needs.🤗
The Science Behind Crying Real
Tears
Several physical developmental
changes come together to enable babies to cry actual tears:
Tear Duct
Development
The lacrimal ducts carrying tears
from the eyes to the nose fully open around 2-3 months. Before this, babies'
tears can't overflow.
Brain
Development
Pathways between the limbic
system regulating emotions and tear production mature, allowing emotional
crying.
Hormone
Changes
Developmental surges in cortisol
and prolactin enable tear production and emotional regulation.
Once these milestones occur,
babies have the physical capability to express emotions through true crying.
Their tears serve an important communicative purpose.💧
Tips for Responding to Crying
with Real Tears
It's stressful for parents to
hear their baby crying real tears!
Here are some tips for
responding:
Comforting Touch
Hold, rock, massage, or walk with
your baby to soothe them with gentle touch. Skin-to-skin contact is especially
calming.
Distraction
Shift their focus by showing them
a toy or book, dancing together, or going outside. Diffusing the emotion can
stop the tears.
Meeting
Needs
Check for hunger, a dirty diaper,
overtiredness, illness, or other unmet needs. Fulfilling the need can relax
them.
Stay calm yourself, empathize
with their emotions, and offer loving comfort. Your care helps them feel
secure.
When to Seek Help for Excessive
Crying
Frequent tearful crying within
the typical age range is usually normal, but seek medical advice if:
Lasting
Several Hours
Nonstop crying spells last over
3-4 hours and are hard to soothe. Could signal distress.
Happens
Frequently
Baby cries intensely for over 3
hours a day, several days a week. May indicate a problem.
Hard to
Console
Your best efforts don't comfort
the baby or stop the crying. Consult a doctor.
Otherwise, try not to worry!
Intense crying is common around 2-3 months as babies adjust to their changing
world.🤱
Frequently Asked Questions
What
causes babies to cry more around 2-3 months?
The frequent crying around 2-3
months is often referred to as the "3 month colic" period. Several
factors contribute to this "crying peak":
- Physical discomfort -
Tummy troubles from gas, reflux, or constipation can hurt. Growth spurts cause
bodily aches.
- Overstimulation - Babies
become more alert to sights and sounds, which can become overwhelming.
- Separation anxiety -
Around 3 months, infants grow more aware of others as separate beings,
triggering attachment needs.
- Trouble soothing themselves
- Immature regulatory systems mean they rely on caregiver comfort for calming.
With time, babies get better at
self-soothing, become less easily overstimulated, and have fewer tummy
troubles. The increased crying is temporary and peaks around 6-8 weeks of age
before improving. Offering comfort helps them through this sensitive period.
Is it
true that babies cry more in the evening?
Yes, it's quite common for babies
to get fussy and cry more in the evening, often starting around 6 weeks old and
lasting until 3-4 months old.
There are a few explanations:
- Overstimulation - By
evening, the accumulation of sights and sounds throughout the day run high.
Babies become easily overwhelmed.
- Tiredness - Trying to
fight sleep and becoming overtired can make babies prone to crying.
- Bodily Discomfort -
Tummy troubles from gas or reflux may worsen after feeding all day. Discomfort
rises.
- Need for Emotional Release
- The pressures of the day require an outlet, and crying offers that.
- Less Daylight - Some
babies are sensitive to dwindling daylight towards evening time.
Strategies like darkness, white
noise, motion, and snug swaddling can help soothe evening crying. Checking for
underlying causes of discomfort also helps.
Is it
possible to spoil a baby by responding to their cries?
It is absolutely not possible to
spoil an infant by responding promptly to their cries, especially during the
first 6 months of life. In fact, responding sensitively to cries builds secure
attachment between baby and caregiver.
Crying is a pre-verbal baby's
main way of communicating needs. Leaving them to "cry it out" in an
attempt to prevent spoiling can actually cause baby to feel abandoned and
distressed.
By promptly responding to cries
with care and comfort, you cannot spoil your baby - only teach them that their
needs will be met and that they can trust you. This fosters healthy
development. Babies naturally begin to self-soothe and cry less with time.
The cues, care, and closeness
experienced now lay the foundation for confidence, independence, and emotional
security later. Respond away!
What
should I do if my 4 month old won't stop crying?
When a 4 month old cries
inconsolably for long periods, it can feel very worrying and frustrating as a
parent.
Here are some tips for
handling prolonged crying in a 4 month old:
- Check for any underlying needs
like hunger, a soiled diaper, overtiredness, or sickness. Try remedies.
- Experiment with different
soothing techniques like swaddling, shushing, swinging, sucking a pacifier.
- Go for a ride in a stroller or
car to see if a change of scenery helps calm them.
- Play white noise, turn down
lights, and decrease stimulating sights.
- Ensure you remain calm - your
tension can pass to the baby.
- Take breaks when needed - never
shake or harm a baby.
If crying persists over 3-4 hours
consistently, contact your pediatrician to rule out issues like acid reflux,
food sensitivities, or sleep regression. Crying peaks around 4 months as babies
grow more alert to the world. Extra comfort helps them through this phase.
What's
the difference between fussing and real crying in babies?
Fussing and crying in babies
may sound similar but have some distinct differences:
Fussing
- No tears present
- Quieter, mumbling, intermittent
sounds
- May be caused by tiredness or
hunger
- Baby may still be soothed and
distracted
Real Crying
- Tears streaming down cheeks
- Loud, shrieking, repetitive
wailing
- Triggers include anger,
sadness, pain
- Harder to soothe and console
baby
- Intense body language - tensed
muscles, clenched fists
Fussing stems from lower-level
discomfort whereas real crying results from intense emotions and distress. Both
warrant comfort from caregivers but real tears signal a strong need for
holding, empathy, and caring.
Is it
normal for babies to cry for hours?
It’s quite normal for young
babies to have prolonged crying spells lasting 2 or more hours, especially
around 2-3 months of age during the “crying peak.”
However, bouts of nonstop
crying lasting over 3-4 hours can be a potential red flag, especially if:
- The intense crying occurs
frequently, several times per week.
- Your best efforts don’t seem to
console or soothe the baby.
- The crying follows feeding or
you suspect tummy troubles.
- Your baby seems to grimace,
draw knees upward, or shows signs of pain.
- Crying persists beyond 6 months
old without any tears.
- You are feeling severely
frustrated or shaken.
Consult your pediatrician if long
hours of crying are ongoing or concerning. There may be solutions like
adjusting formula, medication for reflux, or ruling out illness. Until the
cause is found, respond with as much patience, care, and support possible.
What
should I do when my baby just won't stop crying?
Hearing constant crying from your
inconsolable baby can be frustrating and worrying.
When your baby won't stop
crying, try the following:
- Take calming deep breaths -
your tension transmits.
- Check for hunger, dirty diaper,
gas pains, or signs of sickness.
- Attempt different soothing
techniques - motion, sound, touch, distraction.
- Shift environments - step
outside, try a dark quiet room.
- Ask for help - see if another
caregiver can offer a break.
- Contact your pediatrician -
intense crying may signify an issue.
- Set baby in a safe place if you
feel overwhelmed, and take a breather.
Remind yourself this stage will
pass. Your care and comfort, even if baby continues crying, builds essential
bonds and helps them develop coping skills. Stay patient.
At what
age can babies start manipulating their parents with fake crying?
Babies begin fake crying, or
crying as a deliberate bid for attention, around 5-6 months of age.
Signs of manipulative fake
crying include:
- Crying ceases as soon as picked
up, then resumes when put back down.
- No tears or signs of true
distress like flushed face, rapid breathing.
- Cry doesn’t escalate in
intensity like an true distress cry.
- May alternate quick glances at
parent’s face to see if cry is working.
- Often happens after parents
have responded quickly to cries in the past.
Fake crying represents an
important milestone - understanding that crying summons caregiver attention.
However, it helps to respond minimally to discourage this behavior. Offer quick
comfort but don’t indulge constant picking up. Babies will then learn to
self-soothe more.
What's
the difference in crying between a tired baby and a hungry baby?
Spotting the difference
between tired cries and hungry cries can help you respond appropriately:
Hungry Cries
- Short wails followed by brief
pauses
- May suck fingers or root around
desperately
- Intensifies around usual
feeding times
- Can be soothed at first but
escalates to frantic crying
Tired Cries
- Irritable fussing that lacks a
rhythmic pattern
- Baby may yawn, rub eyes, frown,
or pull ears
- Intensifies after awake for
over 1.5 hours
- Hard to distract or interest
baby in toys
- Intensifies near bedtime
- Is soothed briefly by rocking
or pacifier before resuming
Tuning in closely to cues like
timing, body language, and escalation helps decipher what your baby most needs
in that moment. Both needs warrant prompt response.
What
should I avoid doing when my baby is crying?
When coping with a crying
baby, there are some responses that may interfere with soothing or communicate
negative messages:
Avoid
- Yelling, expressing anger or
frustration
- Ignoring intense cries to
"self-soothe"
- Criticizing baby as
"spoiled" or "bratty"
- Punishing baby for crying
through isolation
- Letting baby "cry it
out" for long periods
- Shake, hit, or handle baby
roughly
Do Instead
- Respond with empathy and
care
- Hold and comfort baby
- Check for underlying needs
- Incorporate different soothing
techniques
- Take breaks when feeling
overwhelmed
- Consult pediatrician if cries
seem extreme
With love and patience, your
caring presence teaches your baby that their needs matter. This builds trust
and attachment during the challenging crying phases.
When does
colic end?
Colic, or frequent intense crying
in infants, generally improves significantly around 3-4 months of age and ends
entirely by 4-6 months.
The hallmark symptoms of colic
include:
- Long crying spells at least
3x/week lasting over 3 hours
- High pitched shrieking and
hard-to-soothe crying
- Crying late afternoon/evenings
with legs pulled up
- Otherwise appearing healthy and
well-fed
The causes of colic remain
uncertain but likely involve tummy troubles like gas or reflux. For most
babies, colic fades gradually without intervention by 6 months as systems
mature.
Trying remedies like probiotics,
massage, and gentle exercise can provide some relief. Always respond with
comfort - you can't spoil a colicky baby. Meeting their increased needs now
helps build secure attachment for the future.
What
helps babies stop crying?
Here are some effective ways
to help soothe your baby's crying:
- Holding or wearing baby close
against your chest
- Soft shushing sounds next to
baby's ear
- Gentle rocking, swaying, or
swinging motions
- Pacifier for sucking, or
feeding for hunger
- White noise from sound machine
or app
- Calm music, lullabies, or
singing softly
- Burping or bicycle legs to
relieve gas pains
- Massaging baby's tummy or back
- Change of scenery - go for walk
or drive
- Dim lights and minimize
stimulation
- Cozy swaddling to feel secure
Responding promptly and meeting
baby's needs demonstrates your care and compassion. Over time and with
maturity, their crying will subside. Your support now paves the way for their
future confidence and success. 😊